ANDBOOM !
BLASTED HISARM CLEAR OFF !
WE SPENT THREE HOURS LOOKINGFOR THAT DAMN ARM,
BUT IT WASNEVER TO BE FOUND.
SOME SAY IT'S STILLCRAWLING AROUND TO THIS DAY.
RAAHH... !
GOTCHA !
THAT'S NOTSCARY.
YOU WERE SCARED CARTMAN,YOU ALMOST PEED YOUR PANTS.
SHUT UP I DIDN'TPEE MY PANTS !
HEY NED,HAND ME THAT GIN.
YOU BOYSWANNA TIE ONE ON ?
NO, THANKS, THAT STUFFTASTES LIKE PEE.
YEAH,CARTMAN'S PEE.
YOUWOULDTASTE MY PEE !
WHAT THE HELL'SWRONG WITH YOU ?
CAN'T YOU HAVEA LITTLE ALCOHOL ?
CHRIST, LOOK AT THATLITTLE BASTARD GO !
YOU SEE THAT STAN ?
NOWTHAT IS A DIRTYLITTLE BASTARD.
HEY, I'M A DIRTYLITTLE BASTARD TOO.
HEY YOU GUYS,I KNOW A SCARY STORY.
SHUT UP CARTMAN,YOU CAN'T SCAREANYBODY.
OH YEAH ?
HAVE YOU GUYS EVERHEARD OFSKUZZLE-BUTT ?
WHAT BUTT ?
SKUZZLE-BUTTIS A CREATURE
THAT LIVES UPON THIS VERY MOUNTAIN
AND KILLS ANYBODYWHO CLIMBS TO THE TOP.
WHY ?
BECAUSE IT LOVESTHE TASTE OF BLOOD
AND LIKES TO ADD PIECESTO ITS DEFORMED BODY.
DEFORMED HOW ?
WELL, ON HIS LEFT ARM,
INSTEAD OF A HAND,HE HAS...
A HOOK.
A KNIFE.
NO, A PIECEOF CELERY.
CELERY ?
YES, AND HE WALKSWITH A LIMP
BECAUSE ONE OFHIS LEGS IS MISSING.
AND WHERE HIS LEGSHOULD BE
THERE'S NOTHING BUT...PATRICK DUFFY.
PATRICK DUFFY ?
DAMNIT CARTMAN,THAT'S NOT SCARY ?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN"STEP BY STEP" ?
SO HE LIVES ALONEON THIS MOUNTAIN
AND WEAVES BASKETSAND OTHER ASSORTED CRAFTS.
THEY SAY THATON QUIET NIGHTS
YOU CAN HEAR HIMWEAVING HIS BASKETS.
( weaving sounds )
CARTMAN, YOU SUCK ATTELLING SCARY STORIES !
YEAH GIVE METHAT FLASHLIGHT.
( rumbling )
WHAT IS THAT ?
MAYBE IT'S SKUZZLE-BUTTCOMING TO WEAVE USINTO BASKETS.
HEY,IT MIGHT BE !
GOSH, I HOPE HE DOESN'T CUT MEWITH HIS CELERY HAND.
SCREW YOU GUYS !
GO TO HELL !
NED, WHY DON'T YOU WHIP OUTTHE OLD CANCER KAZOO ?
LET'S DOA LITTLE SONG.
( voice box )♪ COOMBAYA,MY LORD ♪
♪ COOMBAYA
♪ COOMBAYA,MY LORD ♪
♪ COOMBAYA
♪ COOMBAYA,MY LORD ♪
♪ COOMBAYA
♪ OH, LORDCOOMBAYA ♪
♪ SOMEONE'S CRYING, LORD
♪ COOMBAYA
THEY DON'T THINKSKUZZLE-BUTT IS SCARY, HUH ?
LET'S SEEHOW THEY LIKE IT
WHEN THEY ACTUALLYSEE SKUZZLE-BUTT.
I'LL SCARE THE HELLOUT OF 'EM TOMORROW.
♪ SOMEONE'S CRYING LORD,COOMBAYA ♪
♪ OH, LORD,COOMBAYA ♪
I'M GETTING WORD THAT THE CHEFOF THE SCHOOL CAFETERIA
WANTS TOSING A SONG
ABOUT THIS THRILLINGSTRUGGLE OF HUMANITY.
♪ MMM BABY,EVERY TIME THAT WE KISS ♪
♪ HOT LAVA
♪ EVERY TIME WE MAKE LOVETHERE'S LAVA ♪
♪ HOT LAVA
♪ LAVA SO HOTIT MAKES ME SWEAT ♪
♪ LAVA SO WARMAND RED AND WET ♪
♪ LAVA
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAYABOUT THIS WONDERFUL OUTCOME ?
WE OWE EVERYTHING
TO THIS FRIENDLY
+ GONNA HAVE MYSELFA TIME +
YET MISUNDERSTOODCREATURE.
THANK YOUSKUZZLE-BUTT.
FRIEND.
OH, HOW SWEET.
I DID IT,I DID IT !
I FINALLYKILLED SOMETHING.
OH, MY GOD,WHAT HAS HE DONE ?
TURN OFFTHE CAMERAS !
HEY,THAT WAS EASY.
NO !
WHY GOD, WHY ?!
DAMNIT STAN, YOU SHOULDN'THAVE DONE THAT !
WHY ?
MAKE UPYOUR MIND.
STAN, SOME THINGSYOU KILL
AND SOME THINGSYOU DON'T, SEE ?
NO.
ONLY NOWIN THIS LATE HOUR
DO I SEETHE FOLLY OF GUNS.
I'LL NEVER USEA GUN AGAIN.
( gun goes off )
BUT I JUST WANTED YOUTO BE PROUD OF ME
LIKE YOU WEREWITH KENNY.
BUT KENNY'SDEAD NOW STAN
AND YOU'REALWAYSGONNA BE MY NEPHEW.
AND YOU JUST CAN'TKILLANYTHING.
YOU UNDERSTAND ?
DUDE, I DON'T UNDERSTANDHUNTING AT ALL.
YEAH, IT'S STUPID,LET'S GO WATCH CARTOONS.
YEAH, CARTOONSKICK ASS.
MY UNCLE JIMBO SAYSTHAT AFTER THIS
HE'S GONNA TAKE MEHUNTING IN AFRICA.
WOW,THAT'LL BE COOL !
MY MOM SAYS THERE'S A LOT OFBLACK PEOPLE IN AFRICA.
BOYS,LOOKIE THERE.
THAT THERE IS AROCKY MOUNTAIN BLACK BEAR.
ONE OF THE FEW REMAININGOF ITS KIND.
ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL ?
MY GOD, IT'S COMINGRIGHT FOR US !
HEY, IT WASN'TCOMING RIGHT FOR US.
IT WAS JUSTSITTING THERE.
SHH,NOT SO LOUD.
THAT THERE IS JUSTA TECHNICALITY.
WHAT DOYOU MEAN ?
YOU SEE, THE DEMOCRATSHAVE PASSED A LOT OF LAWS
TRYING TO STOP USFROM HUNTING.
DEMOCRATSPISS ME OFF.
THEY SAY WE CAN'T SHOOTCERTAIN ANIMALS ANYMORE
UNLESS THEY'RE POSINGAN IMMEDIATE THREAT.
THEREFORE, BEFOREWE SHOOT SOMETHING
WE HAVE TO SAY"IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US".
WOW, YOU'RE SMARTUNCLE JIMBO.
JIMBO, LOOK.
OH, IT'S A DEER.
LOOKS LIKE ABOUTA 46-GAUGE, NED.
IT'S COMINGRIGHT FOR US !
KICK ASS !
DID YOUSEE THAT ?
I WAS IMPALED BY THATFEROCIOUS CHARGING BUCK.
RABBIT, RABBITFIVE O'CLOCK.
LET'S MOVE !MOVE !
IS THIS HUNTING ?
I GUESS SO.
DUDE, I'M STARTINGTO HAVE FLASHBACKS.
WHAT ?
STAND FORTH,PULL UP FLANK !
LOOK OUT FOR CHARLIESUP IN THE TREES !
THIS ONE'SYOURS STAN.
IT'S COMINGRIGHT FOR US !
IT'S COMINGRIGHT FOR US.
SHOOT IT STAN.
I GOT YOUR BACKSOLDIER.
I CAN'T.
WHAT THE--WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU ?
I DON'T WANNASHOOT THE BUNNY.
WHAT THE HELL AREYOU TALKING ABOUT
YOU'RE BABBLING,YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE.
YOU'RE HYSTERICAL !
I'M NOTHYSTERICAL,
I JUST DON'T WANNASHOOT THE BUNNY.
NO NEPHEW OF MINE ISGONNA BE A TREE-HUGGER !
YEAH, HIPPIE !
GO BACK TO WOODSTOCKIF YOU CAN'T SHOOT ANYTHING.
I CAN SHOOTYOU,FAT ASS !
I CANSHOOT YOU TOO !
I'LL KILL YOU !
I'LL FILL YOUFULL OF LEAD !
( rumbling )
HEY WHAT'S THAT ?
UNLESS SOMETHINGDRUG HIM OFF.
THERE'S NOT MANY ANIMALSOUT TODAY JIMBO.
YEAH, IT'S ALMOST LIKESOMETHING FUNNY'S GOING ON.
( rumbling )
CHRIST NED, WHAT'D YOUHAVE FOR BREAKFAST ?
I DON'T KNOW MAN,I'VE GOT SOME BAD GAS.
WAIT,THERE'S A RAM !
IT'S COMINGRIGHT FOR US !
( gunshots )
NICE SHOOTING,KENNY.
HERE, YOU NEEDA BIGGER GUN.
LOOK !
I AM SKUZZLE-BUTT,LORD OF THE MOUNTAINS !
BEHOLD MYPATRICK DUFFY LEG !
WHAT IS IT ?
DUDE, IT'SSKUZZLE-BUTT !
CARTMANWASN'T LYING.
HOLY CROW !
WE CAN MAKE A MINTKILLING THIS THING.
WE'LL BE ON THE COVEROF "GUNS AND AMMO".
THIS CALLSFOR SOME HJ-14.
THOSE GUYSARE TOTALLY SCARED.
FIRE IN THE HOLE !
HOLY CRAP !
DAMN, I THINKI MISSED.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONGWITH YOU PEOPLE ?!
C'MON, LET'S MOVE !MOVE !
WAIT, WAIT !
AS WE NEAR THE TOPOF THE MOUNTAIN
THE CHANCES OF OUR ENCOUNTERINGSOME LAVA BECOMES GREAT.
THEREFORE I HAVE SPECIALORDERED THIS TRAINING FILM
TO ASSIST USIN VOLCANO SAFETY.
MR. GARRISON,IF YOU WOULD PLEASE.
Harborers of sorrow,
Natural disasterscan be the cause
of troubling andundesirable stress,
and a volcanois no exception.
But what should you doif a volcano erupts
near youor your family ?
Here we see the Stevens' familyenjoying a picnic,
But suddenly daughterhears a noise...
It's a volcano.
Junior seems worried,but have no fear Junior,
Jane learned in schoolwhat to do
when you heara volcano erupt.
That's right, Jane,duck and cover.
So what will you do whenyou hear a volcano erupting ?
That's right,duck and cover.
Looks likeyou got the idea.
Thank youand goodbye.
OKAY,ANY QUESTIONS ?
THAT HASGOT TO BE
THE MOST RIDICULOUSLOAD OF PIG CRAP
I HAVEEVER SEEN !
THAT'S ENOUGHOUT OF YOU !
I'M GONNA BAGSKUZZLE-BUTT,
THEN WE'LL SEEWHO'S A LITTLE BASTARD.
( Cartman )HEY SERIOUSLY,YOU GUYS !
KILL IT STAN,KILL IT.
C'MON, STAN,KILL IT !
GODDAMNIT,I CAN'T DO IT !
YOU PANSY,GIVE ME THAT GUN !
CARTMAN ?
GODDAMNIT,DON'T SHOOT ME !
WHAT THESAM HELL ?
I WAS JUST TRYINGTO SCARE YOU GUYS.
YOU CAN PUTTHE GUNS DOWN NOW !
SO MUCH FOR THE COVEROF "GUNS AND AMMO".
BUT I THINK WE'VE LEARNEDSOME IMPORTANT LESSONS.
I THINK--
( Stan )WHOA !
HOLY CRAP.
THE MOUNTAIN,ITS BLOWN ITS TOP !
OH, MY GOD,THEY KILLED KENNY !
( mumbling )
LOOK,THE VOLCANO !
Volcano
s01e03 August 20, 1997
The boys' hunting trip is threatened by activity from a nearby volcano and a mysterious creature.
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