Mr. President,The Russians are scrambling
bombersto attack Denmark.
NATO wants to knowhow we intend to stop them.
Mr. President.Mr. President, you can't
just sit therewith your stank face.
The Troll Trace websiteis set to go online
in lessthan 15 minutes!
The world isin complete chaos!
Sir! Someone is leadinga coordinated cyber strike
on the Troll Trace website.
A cyber attack?Well, that's good.
Where's it coming from?
Could be Russian.We don't know.
Whoever this troll is, he'spretty [bleep] hard-core, sir.
[ Music by Boston playing ]
Okay, okay. Token.Token, are you there?
I'm here.What's this about, Kyle?
I can't tell you, dude.I just need your help.
Please,my life depends on it.
Okay, okay, sure.
All right,I need you to tell me
the worst thing I can sayon a United Negro College Fund
website to piss offblack people.
Token, please!There's no time to explain!
Beyoncé ain't nothingbut a Taylor Swift rip-off.
That helps.Thank you!
[ Beep ]Tweak, Craig, I need you
to get on the GLADD websiteand respond
to all the horrible shitI just said about gay people.
Why'd you day horrible shitabout gay people?
It's not important.Just get on it and respond.
[ Ringing ]Hang on.
Dude, I needeverybody online, now!
For what?There's no time to explain.
You've got to go outand get everybody.
Tell them to geton their computers. Go!Okay!
[ Beeps ]Jimmy, what'sthe worst possible thing
we can say on a websitefor handicapped Syrian refugees?
W-W-Waddle back to Syria,desert-tard?
[ Doorknob rattlingand pounding on door ]
Sheila: You boys better not beon that computer!
I'll make you pay for this!
You locked your motherin the pantry?!
I'll lock youin your rooms forever!
♪ Give you up
♪ Never gonna give,never gonna give ♪
♪ Give you up
♪ We've known each oth--
[ Static ]
Skankhunt,can you hear me?
Yes!Yes, where are you?
The troll locked usin the control room
with his Danish workers.
How long before the websitegoes online?
Less than 10 minutes.
Skankhunt,the Troll Trace servers
monitor and catalogue outrageand hate on the Internet.
There's a troll out theretrying to overload them
by generating tons of hate.
Skank, whoever's doing itis doing it from your account.
Yeah, he's pissing offa lot of people.
That's my boy!
Kevin, are you there?Kenny?
Yeah, I-I typed ineverything you told me to.
Mrph rmhmhm rm!Mrph rmphm?
Kyle!I'm gonna help, too!
No, Ike! So far,the only thing you've done
has beenfrom dad's account.
I need youto stay clean.
No trolling, okay?
You can just help mewith what I should say.
Hello?Can you hear me?
This isDildo Shwaggins.Who are you?
I'm a colleagueof your father's.
We see what you're trying to do,and we're gonna help.
We trolled with your father.Now we will troll with you.
Son, you need to know that yourfather is very proud of you.
He was the bestat Trevor's Axiom.
He believes you can be, too.
What the hellis Trevor's Axiom?
Trevor's Axiom is a well-knownequation in online trolling.
It's a wayin which one person
can create a massive reactionon the Internet.
Look -- person "A"trolls person "B."
But it's notabout person "B."
The troll is tryingto push buttons
to try and get a reactionfrom hundreds,
eventually creatingperson "C,"
who's overreactionand self-righteousness
will elicit a reactionfrom persons "D" through "F,"
who weren't trolls butcan't help rip on person "C."
Their reactions lead to outragedpersons "G" through "N,"
and it keeps going,generating massive energy.
It's like the fission reaction
that leadsto a fusion explosion,
all bringing outthe worst in humanity.
Huh. That sort of sounds likehow I got elected.
And if this kind of overreactioncan be amplified
throughthe Pentagon's servers...
It could blow outthe Internet
before Troll Traceever does substantial damage.
Gentlemen, get me in contactwith that troll.
This whole thinghas to be stopped.
We can't go to Mars.
You keep saying that,but not why.
Because Eric knowsthe future.
What are you talking about?
I've had visions of Marsfor the past few months.
I'm a visionary.
That's why I came here,why I brought her.
But the visions weren't completeuntil recently.
I know what happens on Mars.
At first, you'll be super-happy,bouncing around the red sand.
Everyone will bereally nice.
Cartman:You'll think the rover cars
and roller coastersare really cool.
But then you'llrealize something --
The other colonistsall seem to be women.
Hmm. Let's see.
And then you'll start to wonder,"Where are all the guys?"
[ Whispering ]Look underground.
And soon you'll realizethere's areas
you didn't understandthe purpose for.
What is this place?
And that's whenyou'll learn the truth.
Men have beenforced underground,
deemed useless by women.
They are minedfor the only things
women still need us for --our semen and our jokes.
[ Bell dings ]
You're just as funny as us.You don't need to do this!
No. [ Whimpers ]No.
And you'll be trappeddown there forever,
in the cum and joke minesof Mars.
That's --That's ridiculous.
Why would womenneed us to do that?
They'rejust as funny as men.
If there's evena little part of you
that doesn't really believe that,
then think aboutwhat else has to be going on.
[ Whispering ] You have tohelp us stop this.
Laura, have my boyscome to see Craig?
They're hiding from me.
[ Sobbing ]
The son of a bitch.
He's such a bastard!
When you marry someoneand you think you know them...
I don't knowwhat you're talking about.
Troll Trace.It's up and running.
It can tell youanybody's Internet history.
I couldn't resist.
I looked up my husband.
The websites he's visitedare just...disgusting!
May I use this a moment?
Sure.Type in any name.
It'll show you everythingthey've ever done online.
Be careful.You might not like what you see.
[ Keyboard clacking ]
[ Beeping ]
Cartman:Attention, all SpaceX employees.
Please evacuatethe building immediately.
We've just receiveda bomb threat from NASA.
This is not a drill.
The NASA terroristsare super-jelly of us.
Please quietly and calmlyfind the nearest exit
and get the [bleep] outas fast as you can.
Oh, hey, babe.Wh-What's up?
There'sa bomb threat?
Oh, yeah.I was just, um --
They told meon the stifernisy thing.
It was spinning.
Come on.We better get out.
Babe,is everything okay?
You seem...distant lately.
Distant? Really?Oh, my God. I-I'm sorry.
Did Ido something wrong?
No. No, Heidi.Why would you think that?
You don't really talk to methe same way you used to.
Oh, God.I'm sounding needy, huh?
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.Yeah, go on.
Eric, I just -- I hopeyou're always honest with me,
even if you thinkit might hurt my feelings.
Heidi, I'll always dowhat's best for both of us.
Now, come on.We got to get outside.
The End of Serialization As We Know It
Cartman finally understands why Heidi wants to get him to Mars.