How dare you outrightdefy me like that?!
Your brother was being punishedfor using the computer,
and you decide tojust leave with him?!
I just felt bad for him,Ma.
You felt bad for him?!
After all the horrible thingshe said to people online?
Your brother is a sick troll,Kyle.
You just wait tillyour father gets home.
[ Slams door ]
[ FaceTime rings ]
Ike! Where the [bleep]have you been?!
Daddy needs your help.
You don't want Mommy and Daddyto get divorced, do you?
You knowhow bad your mom is.
She completely overreactsto everything.
That's where your brothergets it from.
You don't want to be like Kyle,do you?
Hey, buddy!Everything good there?
It was youthis whole time.
You're the troll who causedall this trouble.
No,it was your brother.
I don't know what's wrongwith him, Kyle.
He needs counseling or --
Heidi Turnerdid emoji analysis.
It was an adult.It was you!
Shh! Shh!Okay, keep your voice down.
[ Whispering ] Why, Dad?Why did you do this?!
Because it's [bleep] funny,Kyle.
It's called havinga sense of humor and laughing.
You should [bleep] try itonce in a while.
Putting a penis in the mouth ofa mom who has cancer is funny?!
Because it's so not funny,God!
Pushing people's buttonsto get a reaction
can actually be very goodfor society, Kyle.
Listen to me.The Danish are [bleep] crazy.
You have to get peopleto stop them.
-How?-Go get people riled up.
Call the president.I don't know.
When youpush people's buttons,
they go and pushother people's buttons.
Now, get out there and ---Kyle! Ike!
What the hell is this?!
What did I say?!
Get off of that computerright now!
[ Door opens ]
Here they come.
Oh, thank God.
There's been a mistake,okay?
I'm not one of them.
My son is Skankhunt42.
Go online and see.
He's still doing it.
All of you,remove your clothes.
What are you gonnado to us?
Remove your clothes now!
In here. Move!
Oh, God!They're gonna kill us!
No, no, no, no, wait.
Okay, okay, it was me.
You're right.I'm Skankhunt.
But I'm not like them.
Please. I have a good job.I'm a good guy.
I was just being funny.
I was trying tomake people laugh.
That's a positive thing,right?
I wasn't doing itto hurt people.
I was just doing comedy.
Please, it's different!
[ Door clanks ]
Priest Maxi:Lord, we look to thee on this,
our most troubled hour.
We have been led astray,
and now all we can do is waitfor the inevitable to happen.
Soon, everything we havesaid and done online
is going to be known to all.
Many lives will beturned upside down.
Of course, I have nothingto be worried about.
Since I'm a priest,
there's nothing I'm ashamedof doing on the Internet,
so...definitely no reasonto look up my history.
But, uh, for many,this is a time to pray.
All:Oh, Lord, please forgive us
for things we might havedone online.
Men:Please try to understand
that even if some of uswere on ashleymadison.com,
it was only out of curiosity
and not becausewe'd actually have an affair.
Please understand thatwe might have used racial slurs,
but only becauseit was to a close friend
and never meant to be in public.
Kyle:What are you all doing?!
Somebody's threateningyour way of life,
and you're all justsitting here, praying?!
Like a-a bunch of babies?!
Likea bunch of pussies!
Come on!This isn't South Park.
What's happened to us?
We used to have a challengeand deal with it
then move on to the next one.
Now we've just beendealing with trolling
and Internet stuffover and over, week after week,
and I don't know about you, butI'm getting pretty sick of it!
Now, for once, let's takea stand and try to end this.
We can't let Denmark changewho we are.
You guys need to, you know,
call the presidentand get him to...take action.
Uh, the president?He won't listen to us.
He hates us now.
No. But there's somebodyhe will listen to.
like we've never seen.
Countries everywhereare terrified
their Internet may be hacked.
Well, what do theywant me to do about it?
You're the leaderof the free world.
Everyoneis looking to you to be
the calm and steady voicethey all need.
Mr. President, the IsraeliPrime Minister is on line one.
The Chancellor of Germanyis on line two.
And a Mr. Slaveis on line three.
This is the president.
Hey. What's up?
Well, well, well.
Crawling out of the woodworkto try and get me back
now that I'm a big cheese?
No, I'm calling becausepeople want you to bomb Denmark.
Who wants me tobomb Denmark?
Lots of people,'cause it's, like,
going to ruin their freedomof speech or something.
Mr. Slave, this is all
very complicateddiplomatic stuff, okay?
You can't just gobombing other countries.
Oh, Jesus Christ.You're such a little bitch.
Oh, I'm a bitch, huh?
I happen to be president,bitch!
You're a littlebitch president.
You're too scaredto bomb anybody.
I'm not scared!
My advisorshave told me that I --
Yeah, you're scared.
Just do what your littleadvisors tell you to do.
If I decide a military strikeon Denmark is warranted,
then I will --You don't have the ballsto bomb them, pussy.
Pussy ass bitch.
Pussy ass bitch.[Bleep] you.
Oh -- You -- Oh, okay!
You think so, huh?
Well, watch this,you gay asshole!
The Troll Trace buildingand the whole [bleep] thing --
Whatever it is,get the missiles ready!
Yeah, it worked.
[ Humming ]
-What are you doing?-Going pee.
I mean what are you doingcalling my girlfriend funny?
You better back off!
You don't even know her!
You haven't spentany time with her!
You're just saying it!
How do you even knowshe's funny?!
Well, 'cause you keeptelling everyone she is.
Butters,Heidi is everything to me.
If you try and take her,I swear to God, I will --
Eric, Eric, trust me.
I want nothing to do withgirlfriends.
I knowwhat girlfriends do.
They make you feelthe happiest you ever felt.
Then they crawl upinside of you and...
poop on your heart.
What are youtalking about?
That's how it ends,Eric.
Girlsget you to feel for them,
make you think they'rethe best thing in the world,
and then they leave,move on to the next thing,
and you're left there,crying,
with your heartcovered in poop.
She's really smart.
And really funny.
Are you sure you wantto proceed with this?
Yeah, yeah.Bomb the shit out of them.
We have to be tough here.
Mr. President, the Grand Duke ofLuxembourg is on line one.
The Chairman of the WorkersParty is on line two.
And Kyleis on line three.
Oh, geez.What does Kyle want?
This is the president.
Mr. Garrison,you can't bomb Denmark!
Oh,for Pete's sake, Kyle.
It-It's wrong, and it couldstart a bigger war.
Kyle, this is all very seriousdiplomatic stuff, okay?
You can't understand
the political complexitiesinvolved here.
I understand you're a dipshitlittle gay puppet.
Letting your ex-boyfriendmanipulate you
'causeyou miss his sweet ass.
Who told you that?
Everyone knows that.
You only do whatyour little bitch boyfriend
manipulates you into do.
Kyle,I am the president.
You're a little dipshitpresident.
With a dirty asshole.
With a dirty asshole.
And you shitout your dick.
And you shitout your dick.
Where'd you learnto talk like this?
Oh, that's what people think,huh?
Well, maybeI won't bomb Denmark.
What do you thinkabout that?!
Yeah, you will, 'cause you'rea little retarded shit bitch.
God [bleep] damn it!
Hold up on the [bleep] bombsa minute!
Cartman is certain that Butters is trying to steal his girlfriend.