in three, two, one--race !
2.1 Seconds for Tommy Bretz !
Looks like we havea new leader, folks !
All right !All right !
All right, Stan,we're gonna need to check in
and have our car inspectedto qualify.
Now, son, daddy needsto teach you something
very important about"tells."
When you tell them you onlyused the approved kit,
don't look up and away,
don't rub your neckand don't touch your ear.
Otherwise, they'll know you'relying to them, all right ?
Whenever you need to lie,just don't look up and away,
rub your neck ortouch your ear.
Dad, maybe we shouldjust take out the thing
you put in the car--
Son, you have to learnhow to lie correctly some day,
might as well be today,all right ?
I love you, son.
Thank youand good luck today.
All right next, please.
It's, uh, Marsh.
All right, car weighsin at 15 ounces.
Do you hereby swearthat you used parts
in the officialPinewood Derby kit
and only parts in the officialPinewood Derby kit ?
( whispering )Yes, I do.Yes, I do.
Yes, I do.
All right, young man,good luck today.
Oooh, yesssssss !
You guys race already ?
No, little Emmetthasn't gone yet.
Think they'resaving the best for last.
Clocked her in at homeat 1.5 seconds.
It's the fastestcar we've ever built.
The time to beatis 1.9 seconds.
May we please have...
Brewster, Marsh,Jarvis and Hollis.
Only fitting our boysshould be going head-to-head
for their match,hey, Marsh ?
Come on, Stan,you can do this !
All right, kids,are you ready ?
Here we go, last race forthe state championship in
three... two... one...
You got it, Emmett !
Oh, yeah !
Oh, yeah !
Suck on that, Hollis !
( announcer )This is 9 News at ten.
at the Pinewood Derby.
Stan and Randy Marsh notonly broke a speed record,
but actually appear to havebent time and space
and discovered warp speed.
A parade was held for the winners earlier today.
And already offers for commercials
and endorsement deals
for the father and son appear to be pouring in.
Dad, I just want you toknow, I still love you.
( gun cocking )
( gunshot )
He's okay, he's okay,
he's okay,he's okay, he's okay !
Will you relax, Stan ?
( cell phone ringing )
Don't sinkyou can keep
allspace cashfor yourselves.
This is all of our planet.
The space cash belongsto all of us !
Either Americashares that space cash
with the rest of the world,
or we will tellthe space cops !
All right, fine, look,
there's plenty of space cashto go around.
Thanks to us,our planet is rich, son !
Oh, no, no, China,we get to keep the ship.
Because we killed the alien,you boner.
Oh, come on, England,you got just as much of
the space cash aseveryone else.
( sirens blaring )
Oh, crap,it's the cops !
Hang on !
Oh, hey, space officers.
Looks like the alien criminaldid land here after all.
Oh, that-- you were talkingabout that alien ?
Oh, yeah, that one,he was here, yeah,
he landed here,but we-- we killed him.
And so did you findthe missing space cash ?
No-- space cash, no.
There wasn't anyspace cash.
Well, maybe someone elseon your planet
knows where it is.
Hey, uh, any of you othercountries see any space cash ?
No, space cashNo way.No, no.No, space cash.
Yeah, doesn't look likethe space cash was ever here.
Guess he must of dropped itoff at some other planet.
Well, you folksall take care now.
Just one more thing,Earthlings.
Uh, we had someimages done of your planet
and it appears that oneof your poorer countries,
Mexico, has built32 new hospitals
and seven water parksin last four days...
Yeah, Mexico, you know--
oh, oh, yeah, all usother countries chipped in
and gave Mexico some aid.
Yeah, they reallyneeded... new water parks.
Have a good day.
( sirens blaring )
Hey-- hey, Mexico !
We said no spendingthe space cash yet !
What the hell are you doing ?!
Will some countrythat speaks Spanish
yell at Mexico please ?!
No, Japan !
Will you listen to mefor five seconds ?!
If you keepbuilding giant robots,
the cops are gonnaask questions !
Well, then why can Engrandbuild necrer power prant ?!
Nobody can build anything !
Yeah, well, it's noteven gonna matter,
because Finlandis thinking about telling
the space cops the truth !
Wha ?!Finland !
We believe the aliensare going to find out
sooner or laterwhat we did.
It's best we come clean now.
Will you just relax,Finland ?
Nobody's gonnafind out anything.
I'm sorry, but our nationis resolved.
We cannot live withthe guilt any more.
Okay, okay, you're right,you're right, Finland, okay.
Can you justlet us other countries
talk for privatefor a moment ?
All right, you guys, we gottaget rid of Finland.
Yup, we gottatake out Finrand.
They gonna squeal.
Yeah, I think weall agree, guys.
Uh-huh.Yup.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Randy has a plan that will ensure Stan a first place trophy in this year's Pinewood Derby.