Do I really have todo this, Dad ?
Stan, now more than ever,
you need to understand theimportance of saving money.
But Grandma saidI could use this money
to buy whatever I want.
Okay, next please !
Go on, Stanley.
How can I help you,young man ?
I got a $100 checkfrom my grandma
and my dad saidI need to put in the bank
so it can grow overthe years.
Well, that's fantastic.
A really smart decision,young man.
We can put that check ina money-market mutual fund,
then we'll reinvestthe earnings into
with compounding interest and it's gone !
Uh, what ?
It's gone,it's all gone.
What's all gone ?
The money in your account,it didn't do too well.
What do you mean ?I have $100.
Not anymoreyou don't-- poof.
Well, what can I doto get back my--
I'm sorry, sir,but this line is for
bank members only.
I just openedan account !
Do you have any moneyinvested with this bank ?
No, you just lost it all.
Then please stand aside
for people who actuallyhave money with us.
Next please !
Hello, Mrs. Farnickle,how are you today ?
Making a deposit are we ?
Great, we can just put thatinto your retirement account
and make it go to workfor you and it's gone.
Sorry, yeah, that's gone.
Please step aside forpeople who actually
have moneywith the bank.
Next please.Dad !
Hey, I'm trying to teach my sonthe importance of savings !
You alreadylost his money ?
Oh, Mr. Marsh,
don't worry, we can justtransfer money
from your account intoa portfolio with your son's--
aaaand it's gone !
This line is for people whohave money with the bank only.
Please step aside !
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Sliced hot dogsand tomato slices ?!
You said we had to becareful with our money.
I've got nothing fora food budget !
Mom, Dad, how comethere's suddenly no money ?
I'll tell youwhat happened, son.
See, there's a bunchof idiots out there
who weren't happywith what they had.
They wanted a bigger houseand materialistic things
that they didn't even need--
people with no money who gotloans to buy frivolous things
they had no business buying.
And these assholes justblindly started buying
any stupid thingthat looked appealing
because they thought moneywas endless.
It goes back to when thegovernment had the idea
that everyone in Americadeserves to own a house...
( Margaritaville whirring )
So we have people having a hardtime paying their loans,
meaning less money coming in.
And the idiots couldn'tsee that by doing
all this frivolous spendingthey were mocking The Economy.
And they made The Economyvery angry.
We're all feelingThe Economy's vengeance
because of materialisticheathens
who did stupidthings with their money.
Do you understand, son ?
Yeah, I think I get it.
And so why is oureconomy failing us ?
too low for too long !
The government tookour economy for granted
and now we are all herepaying the price !
How long will we sitand watch our economy fall...
... And so I say to you,
do not listen tothe Wall Street brokers,
for th are the ones who put usin this situation !
Fat cats with corporate greed.
They are the ones who knowinglydrove us down this pathway...
( Cartman )Where has all the money gone ?
It must havegone somewhere.
The answer is obvious,my friends.
It is the Jews--
covetous Jews,who have taken all our money
and hoarded it forthemselves,
hidden all the cashin some... secret Jew cave
that they built probablyback in the early '60s.
It is The Jews, my friends...
( Randy )Now we hear all different people
casting all differentkinds of blame
from person to person.
But the fault liesin all of you.
You, who boughtthat $300,000 house
when you only had 20,000to put down.
You, who bought that third car
even though only two peoplein your home drive.
It is time tostop pointing fingers !
Finger-pointing gets usnowhere !
We have mocked our Economy,
and now The Economy has castits vengeance upon us all.
This is the first guy toactually make sense.
Yea, it is an angryand unforgiving Economy.
To repent, we must stopfrivolous spending.
Instead of paying forcable, let us watch clouds !
Instead of buying clothes, wearbut sheets from thine beds !
Cut spending to onlythe bare essentials:
water and breadand Margaritas, yea.
Can I help you ?
Yeah, I wanna return thisMargaritaville
my stupid dad bought.
Oh, that's allwe get anymore, returns.
Could you please just putthe receipt here
on this table ?
Sorry, our computers area little slow today.
We need a new Ethernet cable.
Oh, I'm sorry, sir, I'd liketo give you a refund
but I'm afraidit's not doable.
I said I'm not able, sir.
You see, this Margaritavillewas purchased
with a payment plan.So ?
Well, an outsidefinancing company
handles those payment plans.
Customers just payfor some of the machine
and the finance companypays for the rest.
Well, can't I just return itand get the money
my dad put in back ?
Hmm... that's improbablebut not impossible.
I'm not reallysure how it works.
You'll have to speak withthe people at the top.
I can give youthe finance company's address
if that's agreeablewith you.
Can I help you ?
I wanna return thisMargaritaville.
Okay, let mesend you into Josh.
Hey, Welcome toBig Orange Finance company !
Yeah, have a seat.
You want someCarmex ?
I wanna return thisMargaritaville
and the guy atSur La Table said
that you're the companythat financed it.
Ooh, yeah,no, you know what,
Yeah, we can't give you yourmoney back for that,
You'd have to talk to thepeople on Wall Street, yeah.
Wall Street ?
Yeah, no, see,what I do is find Americans
who want a frozen-beveragemachine
but can't afford one
and I hook them up withinvestors who want to
get into the Margaritavillepayment-plan business, yeah.
Yeah, so the problem is yourMargaritaville payment plan
has been combinedwith thousands of others
into one big Margaritavillesecurity, yeah, no.
Yeah, no... yeah.
( sighing )
How can this stupid thingbe worth $90 trillion ?!
What, you thinkit's worth more ?
No, dude, that doesn'tmake sense !
Well, you don't get$90 trillion
but the chart saysthat's what it's worth.
Uh-oh, problem !Problem again !
What is it now ?
Another insurance companyis about to go under.
If they do, peoplecould lose millions.
Okay, no problem, we betterconsult the chart !
Sirs, another insurancecompany is going under !
Now determining most prudentmove for insurance company !
( clucking )
( kazoo playing )
( dinging )
The most prudent moveis a bailout !
Bailout the insurancecompany !
Randy steps forward with a solution to fix the desperate state of the economy.