I know we're down a bitin the polls,
but there's still a great chancewe can win the swing states.
There's still a chance?Are you serious?
Just one thing, sir.
Be a little careful what you sayabout women.
Uh, seems like that might belosing us some votes.
Oh, you don't say.
Ladies and gentlemen,
our country is dividedlike never before,
and we all know that only oneman has the guts to say
what we're all thinking.
Please, welcome the man who,with your help,
will soon be the nextPresident of the United States!
[ Cheering ]
Audience: [ Chanting ] Douche,Douche, Douche, Douche, Douche,
Douche, Douche, Douche,Douche, Douche, Douche, Douche.
[ Clears throat ]
So I'm standing in lineat the airport,
waiting in security 'cause ofall the freakin' Muslims --
[ Cheers and applause ]
And the TSA security people
all look like black thugsfrom the inner city.
I'm like, "Oh, good,you're gonna protect us?"
[ Laughter ]
Well, maybe it's goodthey're all gang members.
At least they cantell the difference
between Muslims and Mexicans'cause God knows I can't.
You know, I'm standing therein line and you know what I do?
I stick my fingerin this chick's asshole.
[ Scattered cheersand applause ]
She turns to me and says,
"Hey, aren't you that guythat's running for president?"
I say, "Yeah."
She says, "Why you gotyour finger in my ass?"
I said, "I'm justkeeping it warm, honey,
'cause that chick next to youis way hotter,
and I'm gonna stick itin her clam."
[ Scattered laughter ]
Yeah.Let's make American great again.
No dude wants his fingerin some ugly bitch's ass.
[ Scattered laughter ]
You got to be careful, though.
It's only abouthalf-an-inch away, you know,
the asshole and that clam,so you got to be careful.
Oh!Oh, where you going?
I'm sorry.Did I offend you?
Where did I lose you, honey?
So you've been okay withthe [bleep] everyone to death,
all the Muslim and Mexican shit,
but fingers in the assdid it for you?
Cool. Just wanted to seewhere your line was.
Oh, yeah, look, I guesssome more broads are leaving.
Oh, geez.You were so onboard.
I can't believe I let thatlittle offensive mark slip!
Poor girls.Did you get your feelings hurt
after cheering for"[bleep] all the immigrants?"
Geez. I'm sorry.Geez.
Did I Offend You?
Garrison takes the stage at his latest campaign rally and offends a portion of his audience.